Odyssey of Tiny

Rutinitas yang monoton dalam pekerjaan dapat membuat kita jenuh dan menjadi buntu. Saat mengalami kebuntuan atau bosan perlu adanya penyegaran pikiran agar bisa mendapatkan kembali konsentrasi yang hilang. Misalnya dengan bercanda bersama teman kantor dan saling bertukar cerita lucu atau kalimat lucu. 

99 kutipan-kutipan lucu seputar dunia kerja ini mampu mencerahkan hari yang paling suram sekalipun dan menggantinya dengan tawa (Masa’ sih?). Kutipan seputar pekerjaan yang lucu namun inspiratif ini dapat menyegarkan Anda dan mengembalikan produktivitas Anda, simak selengkapnya:

1. “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” — Douglas Adams
2. “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keeping your mouth shut.”​ — Albert Einstein
3. “There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.​” — David Letterman
4. “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?​” — ​Kin Hubbard
5. “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
6. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.​” — Homer Simpson
7. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
8. “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
9. “The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
10. “It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, and waves pound the sand. I beat people up.” —Muhammad Ali
11. “Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
12. “People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
13. “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
14. “Pride, commitment, and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” — Anonymous
15. “When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’” — Don Marquis
16. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” — Anonymous
17. “A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” — Fats Domino
18. “Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
19. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” — Drew Carey
20. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
21. “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
22. “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
23. “I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
24. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
25. “A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
26. “It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleges and to realize that they are young enough to be your children.” – Alan Alda
27. “The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan
28. “Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
29. “I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
30. “Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
31. “I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
32. “Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work.” – David Ogilvy
33. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
34. “When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
35. “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
36. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar5
37. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
38. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
39. “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
40. “Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” — Thomas Edison
41. “Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
42. “Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
43. “Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you didn’t have a plan.” – Larry Winget
44. “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the real greats make you feel that you, too, can be great.” – Mark Twain
45. “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
46. “Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoret
47. “If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
48. “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
49. “I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. —Rita Rudner
50. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
51. “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.” — Tim Notke
52. “Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
53. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissinger
54. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” — Vince Lombardi
55. “An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.” — William Castle
56. “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
57. “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.” – Scott Adams
58. “Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. — Michel Tournier
59. “Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
60. “Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
61. “Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
62. “My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
63. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” —Sam Ewing
64. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
65. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” —Douglas Adams
66. “If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
67. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
68. “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” —Franklin P. Jones
69. “People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” —Ogden Nash
70. “The only thing I gain from work is weight.” — Anonymous
71. “I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.” — Anonymous
72. “I’m not saying I hate my job, but if a zombie apocalypse broke out, I’d grab a snack and watch the show.” — Anonymous
73. “My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.” — Anonymous
74. “I pretend to do my regular duties. They pretend to pay me.” — Anonymous
75. “Successful people don’t hit the ‘Snooze’ button; they tackle life with a ‘Snooze’ button-proof mindset!” — Unknown
76. “I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.” — Anonymous
77. “Lazy man’s work motto: ‘Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow…or the day after…or maybe never?’ — Unknown
78. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
79. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
80. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
81. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
82. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
83. “It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
84. “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
85. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
86. “It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
87. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
88. “I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend than be one.” — Clarence Darrow
89. People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
90. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
91. “As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
92. “You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
93. “The easiest job in the world has to be a coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
94. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” — Robert Orben
95. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
96. “Delegate your work. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs.” — Mary Kay Ash
97. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
98. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
99. “The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.​” — Stanley J. Randall

Anda dapat menempel kutipan-kutipan tersebut di mading kantor atau pun di meja kerja Anda untuk memberikan senyum tipis di bibir Anda, meski saat dikejar deadline pekerjaan dari bos. Selamat tersenyum!